A Brief Thought on Happiness
This morning I was listening to an audiobook that was on my list — The Upside of your dark side, as I kept going through it, I started thinking about happiness and why it’s such an important aspect of our life.
The question I asked myself might seem dumb, but really, why do we crave so much happiness?
The Ideal Goal
Happiness is the ideal for all of us. Every single person on earth crave and would do anything to be happy. Even hurting themselves or others. But there’s a problem here, in our pursuit towards happiness, we always create separation between ourselves and what we want.
Below are some examples:
- One day I will be courageous enough to speak to strangers on the phone,
- One day I will make $10,000 a month,
- One day I will impact people’s lives and inspire them to change,
- One day I will have 200+ employees,
- One day I will have 5 cars in my mansion,
- And so on
The expression One day already creates separation because first it’s not today and second, why do our dreams all belong in a future that we must constantly run after? Was there a rule somewhere stating that dreams were only for the future? What if we just started putting our ideals into the future and instead, brought them right here, right now?
There’s nothing wrong with having a vision and multiple goals, but where it all breaks is when you put a huge gap between what you want and where you’re already at.
The same thing applies to happiness when it comes to our mind, we’re just constantly reprogramming ourselves even if we’re not conscious of it:
One day, I will be happy
When we keep repeating these words unconsciously, we keep reinforcing the gap between what we want and where we’re at. The more we go through life this way, the more we create distance from the things we want.
Follow me and I’ll run away from you. Just like a shadow does.
Another important aspect of this is that the more you keep running after something, the more you unconsciously assume that:
- You still don’t have it,
- You’re far away from it,
- You must constantly pursue it,
- If you stop running, you lose it all
This idea applies to a lot of areas in life, and even more happiness. The world is said to be one entity, great figures throughout history understood this concept. Spiritual practitioners say that there’s no separateness between objects.
For most people it might look like some woowoo, but there are scientific evidence behind this, checkout the book The Field by Lynne McTaggart if you’re interested.
Truth is: What did we get from desperately pursuing the things we want from life? Fatigue, exhaustion, stress and sure we got it finally, but what about the emptiness in ourselves once we did it?
Don’t get this wrong
I am a relentless person and I pursue a lot of things daily, but I found that there was a better way than the desperate way.
Did you ever notice that the people who were grateful always received more and more in life?
This would mean that they were actually happy of having something already, they also already experienced the sensation of having done it, which transformed into gratefulness for having received it.
As an example, “The rich gets richer” they say, the rich might be unhappy for some things in her life, but not in her money life, thus it keeps pouring in everyday.
What can we extract from this? There are two ways to pursue something:
- Desperate pursuit: you’re desperately running after something, and just like in movies, as the actor keeps desperately running toward something, life keeps throwing many obstacles in his face.
The more desperate you are, the more mental distance you create, and the less your odds of actually getting what you want.
- Grateful pursuit: just like others, you want a boat load of things from life, you want money, you want to skydive, you want to travel etc. But the difference is that you don’t create distance between yourself and your desired object.
Instead of running desperately, you allow things to settle, you let them take their time and you do the same thing. You know that you’ll have it and in the moment, you just work on it and live fully in the present.
At the end of the day, we’re all pursuing something and there are no proper rules to do so. Some people die and never get what they want from life while others just seem to have everything.
It’s just a thought.
Think about it for a second, let it get into your subconscious and breathe deeply.
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