The Comfort Zone

3 min readMar 8, 2024


Photo by Антон Дмитриев on Unsplash

Don’t we often hear that our comfort zone is the biggest obstacle to our growth as a person? I think that we do. But what does it mean for me personally? For you, and for everyone else?

See, we have been born and brought up in different environments. And overtime, we lose our sense of reference. We may “know” that people live a different life in Japan than we do in our community. We may be aware of the various cultures and ways of the world. But it doesn’t mean we’re still in touch with our sense of reference.

What is this sense of reference? When we were kids as an example, we had a different approach to life than we do now, especially if we are constantly involved with worldly matters. We did not fear the future, we didn’t linger on past wounds for too long. We enjoyed experiences. Our conceptualization of reality was different compared to now.

To clarify: Of course, we cannot remain children forever. We have to learn to take care of ourselves, and that implies certain mental patterns.

Coming back to the subject. Overtime, our mind gets filled up with all sorts of influences until it is shrouded in mystery. We don’t know who we are anymore, what we want, why we’re this way, and we’d rather not try to think too much about it because once we do, it gets dirty.

This is what I mean when I evoke a sense of reference. We were a completely different person compared to who we are now. Seeing this, perhaps we could be more attentive to our current ways, our environment, and how it shapes us. Not only this, but others’ environments, and how it shape them too.

I am, as an example, aware of communities in which kids are given everything they need up into their adult lives, and sometimes until their last breath. For such kids, this is a normal life. It’s how they’ve been brought up, and they’re simply products of their environments.

I also am aware of kids who have been told right during their childhood that they have only themselves to take care of themselves. Such people live a completely different life, and are also products of their environments too.

Which environment is better? At the end of the day, we don’t truly have a controlling hand on what kind of environment we’re born and raised in. Instead, I think that a better route to follow is that of questioning ourselves, regularly.

This means looking inside ourselves.

We may feel frustrated at times, for reasons we have no idea about. We may feel negative and sad during other times, again, just “out of the blue.” Perhaps we have our coping mechanisms to deal with those emotions. Eventually however, we have to question ourselves.

Where could it come from? Do I feel frustrated because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth? Do I feel sick of living behind people’s expectations of me? Am I upset because I realize that I am unable to take care of myself? Have I been too dependent on others? Am I living my life, or am I living the life others want me to?

And so on.

When we question ourselves on a regular basis, our current perspective on things change. We begin to see that we had been looking at reality through conditioned eyes. This tells us that others do the same. Hence we ask ourselves a very important question at this point: What then is the right way?

I’ll leave you on this note.

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