To my younger self, you can change
It’s important to treat others the way you’d like to be treated.
I think that a lot of us “sit” on our habitual ways.
How we welcome and respond to others, as an example, often mirrors how we’ve been received by people during our formative years.
Growing up however, and being invested in one’s maturation — we come to accept the fact that change is indeed very possible.
During my younger years, there were so many things I didn’t like about myself — how uneasy I was around strangers as an example, or how much overthinking went into newer experiences — and if I’m being honest with you, I felt quite powerless to change those things about myself.
I tried different ways to get myself out of those holes. But that’s it. I just tried because in retrospect, seeing the amount of work necessary to bring about those changes — I wasn’t doing as much as I proudly puffed my chest for.
I think it’s a wise decision to trust the process. Somehow, as long as we are diligent, which for me has come to mean putting regular efforts into something while consistently refining the process, results happen. And when they do, we change. It’s almost mathematical.
Changing taught me that I’m not stuck with the person I used to be. I think that we may have idealized some things like being a macho, or an introvert, or a mystic, and attached them to our identity. And this attachment is often part of why we stay that person.
When we witness for ourselves that it’s possible to change — it becomes very clear that, just like with everything else, it’s a matter of work. If you’re naturally introvert, be open to the idea of interacting with others more often. Get your hands dirty, not literally, and soak in the confusing thoughts and emotions. Throw away assumptions. Experience what it’s like. Make your own conclusions.
Be embarrassed. Say weird things. But live it. And go through it. It’s your life, and your experience. No one can do it for you.
Once you do. You see that there wasn’t much to be so anxious about. Perhaps you may even discover that being an introvert was just a roof you put over your head. Maybe, you’re more socially skilled than you believe.
On top of releasing those assumptions about ourselves, work also means understanding certain basic “laws” such as the fact that most normal people like to be treated with respect, and warmth. We don’t need to be romantic. Simply respectful and welcoming. The child welcomes us, and we light up. The dog, the same.
It’s important to treat others the way we’d like to be treated.
My past shouldn’t make my fellow human beings’ lives unpleasant. Whatever happened, it happened. It’s life. Why should I drag this with me?
It’s my responsibility as a human being on this Earth to carry myself well, and in doing so, to interact with others and life in proper ways.
Many of us are taught to follow, rarely to take initiatives.
Pain is often the catalyst that opens our eyes, and forces us to look more honestly at who we are, and where we’re at in life.
I hope you enjoyed this read.
